Game of Thrones – The Final Episodes

By now we’ve all seen plenty of anger directed at the last season of Game of Thrones. I’m not into that petition bullshit, and I don’t want to spread more anger out into the internet than is already there. People are truly mad about the wrong things lately if you want my opinion. I thought it might be more fun to take a look back to the start of the season, and check out the predictions I made of who would live, and who would die. I got some pretty big ones wrong. I still don’t know what I was thinking with Varys. I’ll also provide a bit of commentary about their fates. Because I’m just not me if I’m not making comments about shit. If you want to revisit the full season 8 episode 1 review you can do so. Otherwise I’ll just give you the list of characters I called with thoughts and results below.

Cersei – right

We all knew she was going to die, but how she went out was just wrong. If Missandei had just made her last words “fuckin butterflies!”, grabbed Cersei, and jumped it would have been a better death. If Dany had flown directly up to the Red Keep and had Drogon kill her (and only her) it would have been no more than she deserved. Where was her comeuppance? She died sniveling; being comforted by the man she loved and subsequently betrayed. I understand that this has historically been a show where the bad guys win more often than the good guys. If that were really the case though please explain the last scene in King’s Landing to me. Everyone gets a prize!

Jaime – right

I really thought he’d get his redemption and live. Or even to get his redemption and go out killing Cersei would have been fine. They spent years building him into a good man only to have him flip the dick switch and go running back to Cersei. And breaking Brienne’s giant heart in the process. We got 2 shots of him thinking about something before deciding that his arc should be a circle instead. How he and Cersei died was bullshit, but Tyrion’s reaction to finding them was touching. Not to mention some killer acting on Dinklage’s part.

Tyrion – right

Not a huge stretch for me to pick him to live. You think the fans are mad now? Imagine the outrage if everyone’s favorite character had died. Say what you will about this season, but Peter Dinklage had some truly amazing performances. If he doesn’t win another Emmy someone needs to burn Hollywood to the ground (looking at you Drogon). His character was one of many done dirty by the writers over the last few seasons. “Who has a better story than Bran?” Literally everyone. Despite his increasingly stupid choices he still deserved a decent ending.

Jon Snow – right

Or whatever you want to call him. By the last episode I was torn between him killing Dany or Dany killing him. He, at least, had a story that made sense this season. They just put so much effort into writing the story that they ran out of time for good lines. I think the below meme sums up his dialogue perfectly. The only problem I had was with him being sent back to the wall. Fuck the Unsullied, he was the best choice for king. What the hell is the Night’s Watch even guarding against anymore? At least he got to pet his doggy before totally disobeying to run off and join the Wildlings again.

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Sansa – wrong

She got a little evil streak going in her last season too. I guess that’s why I didn’t think she’d make it through. She didn’t murder thousands of innocent people, but she did try to screw Dany just because she didn’t like her (or was worried that she was prettier than her). She went through just as much shit as Dany (maybe even a little more), but since she didn’t go burn crazy she’s allowed to be a queen. Kind of not cool of her to smack her uncle down like that though. Edmure Tully was a hostage for like 4 seasons. Be polite at least. I hope being the Queen in the North is fulfilling since she doesn’t have any family sticking around. She seemed smug enough to keep herself happy for a good long time though.

Arya – right

After getting her undeserved kill on the Night King I kind of thought her story was done. I got a little worried they would kill her off since they wouldn’t know what else to do with her. I liked the prospect of Arya and the Hound becoming traveling buddies again, but that was short-lived. When Sandor tells her not to follow his path of revenge I wondered if she was thinking back to killing all those Freys. I almost thought she was going to kill Dany. “I know what a killer looks like.” No shit kid. We just saw the same thing you did. Since the writers couldn’t kill off the second biggest fan fave (but still didn’t know what to do with her) she got shipped off the become Arya the Explorer.

Bran/Three Eyed Raven – ?

I guess both of them are alive somehow? Maybe sort of? He was so uninteresting that he wasn’t even in a whole season. When he did come back it was just to get everyone who helped him killed. RIP that other Three Eyed Raven, Jojen Reed, Summer, all that remained of the Children of the Forest, and anyone who died because of your connection to the Night King – especially Hodor. First he broke Hodor, and then killed him. No one needs to be king less than that creepy little shit. Didn’t he even say that Bran was dead, and he was just the Raven now? Why does Westeros need that as a king? Roll your broken ass back up to Winterfell. Those guys didn’t look like little Lord Vacant Stare would bug them all that much.

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Davos – right

He earned a good ending. Historically those are the characters that don’t get one, but this was the season of wrapping everything up in a neat bow. Davos backed Stannis, and lost a son because of it. He didn’t kill Melisandre, and lost Shireen because of it. He survived horror and war and tragedy, and through it all was a righteous dude. He tried to do what was right. He tried to save innocents. Now he’s Lord Davos, Master of Ships and apparently Master of Grammar. Yay?

Brienne – right

Another character who was done dirty by the the lazy writing. She and Jaime were about mutual respect, admiration, and trust. Not at all about sex. Part of what made Jaime want to be a better man was his time with Brienne. He changed because of her, and she deserved better then to have to cry over him as he left her for Cersei. Part of what makes her so great is that she was really the only truly good and noble character on the show. Well I guess you could count Jon Snow, but she was far less mopey about her goodness. She nearly got killed several times between trying to save Arya, Sansa, and Jaime. None of them asked for it, but none of them really deserved her either. But instead of finishing Jaime’s story in the White Book of the King’s Guard she should have been starting her own.

Lord Varys – wrong

Poor Varys – he was right all along. Dany did warn him that she would execute him if he ever betrayed her. I guess he should have listened. She also asked that he tell her if she was failing the people. He did try, but she just didn’t want to listen. Was he trying to poison her right before he died? Cause it kind of seems like he was. But at least Tyrion didn’t have to put up with a whole bunch of “I told you that bitch was crazy!” for an extra episode. I didn’t really care for the way his character changed over the last two seasons, but that’s par for the course with most characters.

Tormund – right

I wanted Tormund to live, and he did. I guess I just should have been a little bit more specific about what I wanted him to do after he lived.

Bronn of the Many Titles – wrong

From up-jumped sell sword to Lord of Highgarden, Master of Coin, and wasn’t he Warden of something? Or Lord Paramount or something? I don’t remember, and I’m certainly not going to watch that silly scene at the small Council again.

Ser Jorah – right

He died exactly how he wanted to. He was protecting Danny from something stupid she had done. Again.

Sam – right

The fan theories were pretty close to how his story ended. I really can’t believe that he thought introducing democracy to Westeros would go over well though. I thought he was supposed to be the smart one. At least I didn’t have to watch him and Gilly have sex again. Hearing it referred to was plenty for me.

The Hound and the Mountain – right on both 

Pretty much went down like I expected. I liked the Qyburn quick kill, and Cersei’s “Well I’ll just be going then…”

Berric – right

Without Thoros to bring him back you knew he was going to die, but he did it in a pretty bad-ass way.

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Gendry – wrong 

Poor stupid Gendry. I can’t believe he actually asked Arya to marry him. The only way that could have been worse is if they had screwed her character over and had her say yes. At least he’s a lord now so hopefully he can get someone.

Podrick – right

Aren’t knights of the Kings Guard supposed to take vows similar to the Night’s Watch? I think Pod may have already fathered a few children, but he seemed happy.

Hot Pie – ?

Team Hot Pie for the lose. Not only did he not get to be king, but we never even got to see him again.

Melisandre – right

Still would have been cooler to have her die at the battle of Winterfell. Or just let Davos kill her. #justiceforshireen.

Theon Greyjoy – right

Oh, so he gets his redemption, but not Jaime. You are not a good man Theon.

Yara Greyjoy – wrong

Her dying would have been better, but the only one who could have gone to kill her would have been Euron. Yeah, he totally should have gone to kill her.

Euron Greyjoy – right

Did anyone care enough about him to allow him the dignity and airtime of have an epic brawl with Jaime?

Daenerys – right

I saved the character most hard done by for last. I feel like the night King should have been killed at the end of the 7th season, and then they would have had plenty of time to develop her madness. As it was we only got to see her sitting around after the battle of Winterfell with a look on her face that said “I have to burn them all.” I know she saw her best friend brutally murdered in front of her, but it’s hard to see how that drove her to slaughter an entire city that quickly. Lots of people are pointing back to things she did in previous seasons now saying that they saw it coming. Hindsight is 20/20. To go from setting some slavers on fire to trying to “free” all the people of the world is a pretty big leap without more development. I’ve seen better heel turns in wrestling.

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So that’s what? 18 right, 5 wrong, and 2 question marks. Not bad, but I could have done better. Varys is still my own fault for not remembering Melisandre’s last words to him, but overall I feel good about my stats. I should have done more minor characters too. Before the start of the last episode I said it would be Arya killing Dany, and then Jon would have to calm Drogon before killing him. My way might have been cooler, but it wasn’t my show.

I don’t really mind where we ended up. I mind how we got there. Here’s why I’m going to need those last 2 books: I need the many hundred of pages of character development that get us to the end in a satisfying way. You guys think you’re pissed ? I think about the people who have been reading this series for 23 years. I just started reading the books after the first episode of the show. I can’t even imagine how mad the guys who’ve been cooking up theories since 1996 must feel right now. I’m kind of adrift too. I’ve been so invested in this series for so long that I don’t know what to do with myself. My brother and I have decided to keep our shared HBO account until at least after the new Watchmen, but it just won’t be the same.

How long until the prequels come out?

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