Nobody seems to like Alien Resurrection.
I don’t like Alien Resurrection.
Joss Whedon, who wrote Alien Resurrection does not like Alien Resurrection. Here are some of his thoughts:
“In all seriousness, Alien: Resurrection was, I thought, the lowest I could ever feel.”
“You don’t ever get over it. When you are making a movie you are making something that is going to last forever, especially now with the internet. So there is always going to be a shitty Alien movie out there. A shitty Alien movie with my name on it.”
You can read the full interview here if you like. I’ll wait.
As much as I might think Alien Resurrection is a very bad movie, as with most shitty genre movies there are things to like.
Sigourney Weaver enjoying being weird as the Ripley clone is great.
Winona Ryder bringing her own personal style of weirdness to the android, Call, is something interesting and different for the franchise. I’d love to see NECA produce a Call figure.
Honestly, the whole cast is pretty enjoyable, given what they have to work with. I do still watch this movie from time to time, knowing that the story and tone are garbage but the performances are tons of fun.
The creature designs are also very good. The new warrior aliens are a solid variation without straying too far from the iconic original designs. They’re more cunning, gooier, and have neat fins on their tails for undersea action.
And then there’s today’s subject – the Newborn. I still can’t quite explain it, but it’s the result of the Alien Queen that was harvested from clone Ripley giving birth the human way rather than via eggs. Everything about the Newborn is the height of horror, from its violent, disturbing birth to its appearance as a human/xenomorph crossbreed.
It doesn’t do much before getting sucked out of a viewport, but for my money the hybrid is one of the most disturbing creature designs I have ever seen. The moment it appears you want it off the screen as soon as possible. Such a thing simply should not exist.
Kenner had the overall Aliens license when the movie was released and took the opportunity to deviate from the traditional design of their toys and try to mimic the style of McFarlane Toys’ products, which were red hot at the time. While their Ripley and Call figures left something to be desired, the creatures were pretty cool. Even the Newborn, which was missing one major, disturbing detail that the NECA version is not. More on that later.
Naturally, as soon as I saw that NECA was producing a figure I knew I had to have it on my shelves.
Did the maestros at NECA successfully recreate the horror of the Newborn or would it have been better left unmade? Read on and find out!
The front panel of the box is a recreation of the Resurrection movie poster. I got these shots during the time when I forgot to take pictures with the panel open. It’s okay – I’m sure you can use your imagination.
This box is significantly larger than other NECA boxes on the shelf due to the size of the figure.
The back of the box has a few pictures recreating scenes from the movie using action figures.* I generally prefer shots from the source material for comparison, but NECA does such a nice job with these that I’ve come to enjoy them.
Of course, thanks to NECA’s dedication to its artists, you can see that Stephen Mazurek is responsible for this fine work. I love that the company puts the credits on the packaging.
The monstrous figure is secured in the inner tray with a couple of easily snipped twist ties. Here’s something I’ve mentioned before, but it’s been awhile:
Keep a set of fingernail or toenail clippers in your toy opening area. Don’t waste your time un-twisting those ties. Just clip ‘em. Obviously you want to be careful around the figure and clip as far away from it as possible, but those clippers will make your life so much easier.
This is a truly horrific action figure. I’m not going to start with the vagina, but we’ll get there.
Never start with the vagina.
Apparently we can think Species for the fact that this monstrosity doesn’t have Sigourney Weaver’s likeness slapped on it, as FOX executives felt it would be too similar to the Sil character from that movie.
Instead, Junior has a horrifying skull face with just enough flesh to be disturbing. The head, complete with hinged jaw, is mounted on a ball-jointed neck that protrudes from a biological structure that defies categorization. The form is similar to that of a xenomorph’s upper body.
The head has a pretty decent range of motion and the jaw opens super wide, which it would have to in order to bite the top of Brad Dourif’s head off.
Man, I want a Dr. Gediman figure. Or any Brad Dourif character, really.
I mean, other than Chucky. We’ve got plenty of him.
While Kenner’s figure sported the standard five points of articulation, this one is loaded.
There are hinged swivels at the shoulders, wrists, hips, knees (both sets), and ankles. The elbows are double-jointed hinged swivels and there’s a rocker joint on the abdomen. As with any NECA figure, be very careful when working these joints for the first time. Apply heat or cold if needed – don’t try to force anything. One of the hip ball joints on mine is stuck and won’t swivel. I haven’t bothered fixing it yet because it isn’t affecting anything too much, although you might notice a slightly wonky stance in a couple of the pictures now that I’ve pointed it out.
Of course, with this beast how do you even tell a stance is wonky?
The figure has surprisingly good balance for something so lanky and top-heavy. I was able to get it to stand in pretty much any pose I wanted thanks to the excellent articulation and solid joints. The thick, stubby feet helped, too.
The Newborn is mostly made of a sickly, semi-translucent green plastic that looks absolutely amazing in person. I’m fascinated by the way toymakers have gotten so good at simulating a flesh-like appearance over the last decade or so. NECA is especially talented at this, with even their human characters having surprisingly lifelike plastic bodies.
The subtle application of paint washes over that green plastic are what give this figure its organic appearance and make it seem almost ready to breathe on the shelf – a disturbing thought. There are dark greens, greys, and pinks throughout that bring out the details. The teeth and claws receive their own bone-colored paint apps that highlight this creature’s more vicious parts.
NECA has never shied away from alien physiology. Not even Trilobite penis. And if you’re going to carefully reproduce male genitals for a giant mutant starfish to stick into an Engineer’s open mouth, then gosh darn it, I guess you’re gonna go all-out for this thing’s cha-cha. And they did.
Nice work, NECA?
Oh, and if you’re doubting my perception feel free to check my source.
I guess I should mention Junior’s flappy little buttcheeks, too.
The Newborn is a big, naked monster that doesn’t use tools or, unfortunately, wear underpants. As a result all it comes with is a stand. It’s a good stand that does what you need it to do, namely hold the figure up. As I mentioned the figure is pretty darn good at standing on its own, but I wouldn’t want to leave something this simultaneously bulbous and spindly on the shelf unsupported for too long.
This is a gross, disturbing, creepy figure and once again I have to give NECA credit for their reproductive skills, which are only outmatched by those of the hybrid Alien Queen.
If you love horrifying monsters and don’t mind your toy room being rated NC-17, I strongly recommend you grab this monstrosity.
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