Batman: Hush Review

We now interrupt our scheduled Dragon Con build up coverage to bring you…

Batman: Hush. My first thought when I saw the title was about Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Hush was one of the best episodes, and one of my very favorites. My second thought was that someone was telling Batman to be quiet. This led to a voice in my head saying “Batman, shut yo mouth” followed by giggling in public to myself. I was at a Redbox in Publix at the time so I’m sure that looked weird to people. I’m certain I looked like a crazy person, but I don’t really care. I frequently crack myself up, and if you ever see my laughing alone in public just ask if you want in on the joke. I’m hilarious, and it’s sad that I’m so often the only one who knows it. What was I talking about? Oh yeah. Continue reading “Batman: Hush Review”

Godzilla: King of the Monsters

Yep, I’m reviewing a movie that came out almost a month ago. And really the main reason is that I wasn’t too excited about it at first. I didn’t care for the super slow and serious Godzilla of 2014, and Kong: Skull Island was merely worth the price of a Redbox rental. What convinced me to finally go and see it? The crappy reviews of course. Critics seemed to dislike Godzilla: King of the Monsters because it didn’t have enough plot or human drama. Those are precisely the things I don’t want in a monster movie so I finally got off my ass last weekend to check it out. I’m assuming that you’ve either seen it by now or don’t care enough if I give spoilers. Continue reading “Godzilla: King of the Monsters”

The MCU Ranked, and Slightly Updated

Dave messaged me last week wanting to know if I’d be ready for an Endgame podcast by Sunday. I won’t. Given the hype, anticipation, and number of people that I know who’ve already bought tickets I can only imagine how crowded every single showing will be for opening weekend. My love of The Avengers will not win out over my hatred of seeing movies in a sold out theater. Anything over half full gives me anxiety these days. I’ll see it sometime next week when I’m off early on a weekday, and can get in while most everyone else is still at work. During these messages Dave also mentioned that he was doing an MCU ranker for the site this week, and asked me to do one too. As luck would have it I did the one below last year for the old site. Obviously he hasn’t memorized every single article I’ve ever written. What a jerk. And then he ended up not even doing the ranker he set out to do. Anyway, besides cleaning up the formatting I left everything pretty much as it was when I first wrote it. I could go back and start over-thinking things, but why? I did add Ant-Man and the Wasp, but you’ll notice that Captain Marvel isn’t here. The lame answer is that I just haven’t gotten around to seeing it yet. My life has been busy and complicated so far this year, and I just haven’t gotten around to it yet. I also don’t understand having two Marvel movies in theaters at the same time. I’d have been a lot happier to see this one at home a few times before going to see Endgame. So I’ll probably see Endgame twice before I see Captain Marvel, but I will see it. Continue reading “The MCU Ranked, and Slightly Updated”

Independence Within the Marvel Cinematic Universe

I’m going to try to do something a little different today.

Before we get any further – comment below with the MCU movie that you think stands alone most successfully. There are plenty of answers with all kinds of justification; I’m just curious to see what you think.

With Avengers: Endgame imminent, my plan had been to rewatch the preceding MCU movies and write a fresh piece ranking them. Thanks to work and other stuff I only made it to Thor: The Dark World before I had to sit down to put this post together.

Hopefully we’ll get to Age of Ultron and Infinity War again before we see Endgame, but I’m not gonna hold my breath. It’s okay. I know these movies fairly well by now; or at least, I hope I do. Today’s post relies on my familiarity. Continue reading “Independence Within the Marvel Cinematic Universe”

Movie Review – 10 Thoughts About Pet Sematary (2019)

SPOILER WARNING – THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR PARAMOUNT PICTURES’ NEW FILM PET SEMATARY

Stephen King is pretty hot stuff right now.

Or at least, adaptations of his work are hot stuff.

Heck, even re-adaptations of his work generate a lot of buzz, as was the case with this new Pet Sematary.

I think that it’s generally agreed upon by Stephen King fans that Pet Sematary is his darkest, most unsettling novel. I read it when I was too young to read it and no matter how effective any on-screen portrayal of Zelda is, it will never equal the horror of King’s written words. Nor will any actor ever be able to sufficiently capture the torture that Louis Creed feels, if only because we’ll never experience the character’s thoughts the same way in a film.

1989 saw the release of the first film adaptation of Pet Sematary. It was a blockbuster. Back then I loved it and so did pretty much everybody else. I think we all sort of knew that the acting wasn’t great, but something about it seemed very mature and cool – it was a kind of darkness that we weren’t seeing too often. I also seem to remember it being everywhere. Paramount might have put a little extra push into the marketing, possibly because we were entering into the Summer of the Bat, a phenomenon that would conquer movie theaters and public consciousness for basically the rest of the year.

I was disappointed a few years ago when I realized that the 1989 Pet Sematary isn’t very good. It’s fine by 80s-era mid-grade horror standards and is even a standout among King adaptations, but the acting is bad almost across the board and the direction is clunky.

This made me excited for a new adaptation made to today’s standards.

People often parrot the terms “Is this necessary?” and “Who asked for this?” as an empty-headed way of dismissing remakes, prequels, sequels, and basically anything that they think they can get internet credibility out of criticizing. These are simple-minded, myopic queries that require more thought to answer than to pose (as is the intent), but in the case of 2019’s Pet Sematary the easy answers are “Yes” and “People who love that book and recognize the failure of the 1989 movie”.

Did directors Kevin Kölsch and Dennis Widmyer and their cast and crew succeed in delivering a worthy horror experience or will we be waiting thirty more years for a satisfying adaptation of the Creed family tragedy? Read on and find out! Continue reading “Movie Review – 10 Thoughts About Pet Sematary (2019)”

Movie Review – 7 Thoughts About Shazam!

SPOILER WARNING – THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR WARNER BROS. PICTURES’ NEW FILM SHAZAM!

Plenty has been said about Warner Bros.’ DC movies over the past six years since Zack Snyder’s Man of Steel kicked off a planned connected universe of films. I’m not going to rehash any of it here other than to say most of the movies were not done the way I would have done them, but that I have enjoyed all of them to one degree or another.

Shazam! is part of a new initiative to release movies that aren’t quite so grim and miserable and visually oppressive. As a matter of fact, the trailers for Shazam! made it look like a straight-up comedy. After the swashbuckling action of Aquaman it looked like WB was really trying to do different things with their beloved and potentially lucrative DC Comics characters.

The superhero now known as Shazam was called Captain Marvel for years. I don’t know the whole story behind this, but I’m sure you can Google it. I spent most of my life thinking he was called Shazam. Given that, you can probably guess that he isn’t really one of my guys.

Regardless of my level of familiarity with Captain Shazamvel, I do have a tendency to get excited about superhero movies. And because of what’s been going on with the DC movies I have a particular interest in seeing just what the heck they’re doing at any given time. Switching gears and producing what seemed to be a superhero version of Big was a bold move, and possibly a brilliant one.

Last Thursday night I took the family to the local Regal RPX – which, by the way, is now my favorite format for seeing movies – to see this newest entry into the DC Extended Universe. Was it what we expected and will it carry on the successful trend set by Aquaman? Read on and find out! Continue reading “Movie Review – 7 Thoughts About Shazam!”

Repost: Movie Review – STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN In Hunt to Kill

Originally posted on the old Needless Things in August of 2011

I want to tell you about this amazing movie I watched Monday morning. But I’m going to have to resort to spoilers to do it justice, so don’t read this if you don’t want the magic of STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN in Hunt To Kill ruined for you. Just go to Comcast’s OnDemand service and watch it right now. Continue reading “Repost: Movie Review – STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN In Hunt to Kill”