Horror Movies of 1999

I normally like to talk about 30 year old horror movies every October. This year is going to be different for two very good reasons. First: I’ve been doing the yearly old-nerd podcasts with Dave for several years now, and anything truly outstanding (or abysmal) can be discussed there. Second: there just aren’t any horror movies from 1989 that are worth talking about to me. There’s a lot of crap for sure, but I don’t want to spend 1000 words talking about terrible things. Most of them don’t even fall into the “so bad they’re good” category. The best thing about Pet Sematary was song The Ramones did for it. Well Fred Gwynne was great, but that’s about it. Friday the 13th, A Nightmare on Elm Street, and Halloween had some pretty bad sequels that year too, but I don’t really have anything besides that to say about them.

So this year I’ll be looking at the much more fun horror year of 1999. And while there are no Oscar winners in here, there are certainly several that are fun even if they aren’t great films. There aren’t even any that came out that year I hated. Maybe some that I’m indifferent to or never got around to seeing, but nothing that I just want to trash. It’s always tough for me to judge if horror movies are well known or not because I have so many friends that are into scary stuff too. To me most of these should be fairly well known, but if you haven’t seen any of these then please do so. Everything here has my spooky seal of approval.
Continue reading “Horror Movies of 1999”

Needless Things Podcast 285 – Star Wars Halloween Special

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-tj4j2-c1da34

Welcome to the spooky season on the Needless Things Podcast!

On today’s episode the Irregulars discuss an oft-overlooked aspect of the galaxy far, far away – the horror of Star Wars!
From bizarre aliens to scary swamps to the indescribable horrors of blue milk, the beloved Star Wars franchise has provided more than its fair share of chills. Horror comes in many forms and this week’s special episode of the Needless Things Podcast will take a look at some of the ways George Lucas’ unstoppable pop culture juggernaut has explored the genre.
Listen in as Dave, Beth, Ryan, and Chad share the things that spooked them the most a long time ago (or perhaps even now)!
PLUS – Dave announces the winner of the first 2019 Needless Things Halloween Prize Pack and the prize for next week! So follow @needlessthingspodcast on Instagram for your chance to win!
Be sure to join the Needless Things Podcast Facebook Group and get in on the conversation for this week’s episode! Let us know what you think!

“Procrastibate” by LeSexoflex.com

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Movie Review – The Dead Don’t Die

hero_dead-dont-die-image.jpgThe town of Centerville used to be “A Real Nice Place” according to the sign that welcomes you to this sleepy farmland. The kind of town where a white farmer wears a hat that says “Keep America White Again” while talking to a black farmer in the local diner. The gas station doubles as a horror themed comic shop, but it’s not so out of the way that it can’t get regular deliveries from WU-PS (because RZA is the delivery man. Get it?). The three local cops are going about their quiet lives on the day that the dead decide to rise from the grave. Nobody seems very surprised though since Adam Driver’s junior cop immediately pegs this disturbance as zombies. What follows is the dead-est of deadpan comedies as the characters all try to survive this outbreak. It isn’t quite a “zomedy”, but it also isn’t too gory for you to watch with the squeamish types. I don’t know a ton of people who have seen this yet so I’ll go easy on spoiling anything. I want everyone to see this movie, and there’s a better chance of that if I don’t tell you how it ends. But, as Adam Driver’s character repeatedly tells us, “this is going to end badly”. Continue reading “Movie Review – The Dead Don’t Die”

Toy Review – Halloween II Ultimate Michael Myers from NECA

What better way to kick off the spooky season than with the godfather of slash himself, Michael Myers?

Slashers as action figures are a funny proposition.

Due to their iconic nature, their looks typically do not change a whole heck of a lot from movie to movie. Back in the olden days toy manufacturers could get away with releasing a sort of generic amalgamation of a character’s appearances across several films. Take McFarlane’s early efforts, which are ostensibly based on specific entries in their respective franchises but do not precisely represent any versions of Freddy, Jason, Leatherface, or whomever.

We ate it up because it was the best we had at the time. And while those figures still have their charms, in this day and age of intense detail and strict screen-accuracy, we as consumers demand more. And have sort of shot ourselves in the foot as a result.

Thanks to our demand for accuracy, we now have approximately fifty-eight Freddy Kruegers that are barely different.

Michael Myers might seem to be the least changing of the slashers, but of course we insane-o fans know that there are more variations to his mask than there are actual movies in the franchise. So while his blue coveralls barely change from film to film, there are plenty of changes to be made to that iconic, but eminently variable, mask.

Fortunately for us a few years ago NECA saw fit to launch their “Ultimate” line of action figures. Each release in this range includes basically all of the parts needed to represent multiple looks from a single film. Today’s review subject includes three different heads, whereas previously we would have had to buy three separate figures to represent these looks.

Of course, the clever part is that NECA charges between twenty-five and thirty bucks for these, so if you want to display all three looks you’re actually paying more per figure than you used to. Granted, you’re getting tons of accessories, but I feel pretty sure NECA is reaping some benefits here. Which is fine by me. They’re a pretty great toy company.

As far as this Michael Myers figure goes, it represents various scenes from 1981’s Halloween II.

I’m a huge fan of this sequel and will almost always watch it immediately following the original. They’re inseparable to me. This isn’t the place to get into how the most recent Halloween affects the legacy of that film, but to me it doesn’t change things.

Back when NECA revealed this figure I was most excited for the Ben Tramer mask that’s included. It’s only in the movie for a couple of minutes, but to me it’s a crucial piece of Halloween lore. Tramer is a victim of Loomis’ obsession. It’s important to remember that Halloween II takes place on the same night as the prior movie, so it’s not like Tramer is knowingly wearing a costume that is lethally similar to a serial killer’s. He’s simply a victim of tragic circumstance, which is something I would love to see explored in the forthcoming films.

Michael’s mask from the finale of Halloween II is also included in this set, complete with the striking “bloody tears”. It’s a look that is absolutely essential, though I honestly hadn’t planned to display the figure that way; this was going to be Tramer on my shelf.

Is this figure an essential addition or an extravagance? And who won out for my shelf space – Myers or Tramer? Read on and find out! Continue reading “Toy Review – Halloween II Ultimate Michael Myers from NECA”

Beth’s Best of 2018

I’m back baby! That was an extended hiatus, but the end of 2018/start of 2019 was horrible for me. Sickness and death, and all manner of garbage. Seems like a good time to finally post my 2018 recap and put the year behind me. We’ve done the podcast, but given the number of people that were on (and the way that Dave looked at me for talking about Star Wars as I did) now is my chance to elaborate. There are also some things that came out in 2018 that I hadn’t seen when we recorded so I can talk about those now too. Plus, with everything that’s happened since, that podcast seems like it was recorded a lifetime ago. So here’s my good, meh, and ugly from 2018 in no particular order. Sorry if I repeat from the podcast, but I promise it’ll be worth reading even if you’ve already listened. Well, I promise it’ll have enough differences or new content. I never promise that I’ll write something worth reading. Continue reading “Beth’s Best of 2018”

Halloween 2018 – Eli Roth’s History of Horror

tvreview-rothhistory-rothzombieYou probably know who Eli Roth is even if you don’t think you do. He directed Cabin Fever (the good one), Hostel, and (the not good homage to Cannibal Holocaust) The Green Inferno. He’s also had acting roles in several movies, but aside from Inglourious Basterds they’re mostly cameos. A quick look at his IMDB page shows that he is not only a fan of horror, but knows a thing or two about it. You’ll also notice that while he only has 16 credits as a director he has 101 credits as himself (or at least it stuck out to me). It also gives me the idea that he’s a guy who likes to hear himself talk. Continue reading “Halloween 2018 – Eli Roth’s History of Horror”

Halloween 2018 – A Different Take on Halloween

d5463562-1063-46a6-864e-c487abba9b75-halloween_2018_jamie_lee_cuThere are probably some spoilers coming up, but since the movie has been out for a week as of the time that this goes up it’s on you at this point. I mean Dave already wrote about it, so I don’t know how I could spoil it more. I’d also apologize for writing about something he’s already covered if I didn’t have such a different opinion. I hadn’t planned on writing about yet another horror movie this month, but I had so many problems with something that I was so excited about seeing that I feel like I need to talk about it. I was really looking forward to this movie, but I sadly didn’t find it as entertaining as Dave did. Apparently we’re going to disagree on movies involving Danny McBride since he hated Alien: Covenant while I liked it, and he loved the new Halloween and I was underwhelmed. I didn’t hate it, and I don’t feel like my qualms are nit-picky, but I had serious problems with the movie that others don’t seem to have. Continue reading “Halloween 2018 – A Different Take on Halloween”